They are capable of only this!

Sahana Prasad

Delhi- the Capital-of our country , with a long history and tradition. Huge imposing monuments, wide roads and loud, jovial people.”Dill waalon ki dilli” (Delhi for people with hearts- meaning those who love good life) Not to forget the dhabas, the rich Punjabi food and umpteen opportunities for growth. Way back, 22 yrs ago, it was the USA for us, simple people living in Bangalore, trying to manage in the limited avenues of development and hoping for a brand new life which would propel us into a better existence.
The joy on hearing that dad got a job in Delhi soon evaporated on landing there. Not just the heat and dust, but the very atmosphere was stifling. Slowly, it showed its ugly side. Of oppression, male dominance, meaningless patriarchal behavior and a total disrespect to women. It was shocking to say the least. For a teen ager, all of 13 yrs, it was like stepping back into stone age, no, to some horrible world. There was no gentleness, no humanitarian considerations nor fairness in people’s dealings.

A woman- young, middle aged or old could never walk peacefully on the road. There would be disgusting stares, groping hands and vulgar comments. Eve-teasing was a norm than an aberration. Not just the illiterate immigrants from other states, but even the local men. I was saddened to know recently, that it is still the case. Things have worsened and mothers still worry till their daughters reach home.
Each flat, occupied by well-to-do families had a story to tell in terms of abuse of women. Few incidents are deeply etched in my memory.
The opposite house ‘auntie’ was friendly with the neighboring ‘uncle’ as her husband was working for ‘uncle’! Their ‘friendship’ was encouraged by auntie’s husband who saw a quick way to gain promotions and auntie quietly compiled! Despite the fact that she herself was an officer in a firm. Though people sniggered at their backs, Auntie’s husband moved up in his career and continued his sham of being a responsible husband and father.
A young strapping boy from one of the northern states was employed as a household help. The lady of the house was busy with her work and socializations. The boy started and continued abusing the young girl child of the house. One day, when it was discovered, they hurriedly packed off the boy to his hometown and the girl was asked to keep quiet. No reporting to the police, no counseling for the child, no noise. “Ghar ki izzat ka sawaal hai (it’s a matter of family-honor)” you see!
The top floor flat was abuzz with activities. The eldest son was getting married. The bride was a top architect at Nirman Bhawan. A pretty, educated daughter-in-law, that too in government service. They were congratulated and envied. The ugly scenes at the wedding wherein the pompous mother-in-law demanded a two-wheeler and that too after pocketing a heavy dowry and lots of goodies left a bitter taste in the mouth. The pathetic looks on the bride’s and her family’s faces were enough testimony to our great ‘culture’.
The daughter-in-law did all the household work and handed over her salary each month without a protest. One year later, she delivered a baby girl. The gloom, the silence and repressed anger in the household had to be seen to be believed. As if a great calamity had befallen the family. As per their custom, the delivery and related matters were taken care of by husband’s family, unlike our communities. There was no sweets, no acknowledgement of greetings and wishes, nothing of joy or happiness. A year later, she delivered a baby boy. A shamiana was put up in a hurry, sweets distributed to all in the locality and the elder child was completely forgotten, by its own educated mother also. The contrast between the two deliveries were glaring.
Rape in Delhi? In a moving bus? Am really not surprised. I have seen women raped regularly, if not sexually but emotionally, financially and verbally. Is there a way out?